August special… for the entire month, all nutritional supplements are 25% off! So be sure to come in this month to refill all of your supplements for a reduced price.
Cancer advice, part ten… is all about the emotions, attitudes, and behaviors that help fight cancer. There are many mental attitudes that can improve your outcome while fighting cancer. Assess the assets vs. liabilities in your life. Happiness isn’t about having everything you want; rather it is about being content with what you have and making the most of it. Some people seem to be naturally optimistic, while others can be pessimistic. Pessimism is the human tendency to let your mind dwell on the negative, perpetually focusing on how awful everything is, or could be. One way to deal with a pessimistic outlook is to make a deliberate and sincere effort to concentrate on what you can be thankful for. Not just putting on a happy face either, but seeking and finding real gratitude. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale became famous for his books that promote this idea of "positive thinking".
The Kiwanis club always has “Happy Dollars” as part of its meetings. Anyone can put in some money and tell the group something they are happy about. It can be something funny, something silly, or something for which you are very grateful. I am continually amazed at how within a few minutes of listening to a parade of people say something they are happy about, my own mood lifts. For example, one time a member put in two dollars and said, “I’m happy that my in-laws came to visit…and I’m happy they have left.” Then we all cheered. We knew what he meant.
For the high school kids in Key Club (which is an extension of Kiwanis), it was just
“Happy Coins”. As teenagers, they often struggled to think of anything they could be happy about. I started saying things like, “You have shoes on your feet and clothes on your back. It’s a lovely spring day. You can eat lunch outside today.” They would look at me like I had two heads, but with some coaching they began to come up with more and more of their own ideas. Many who lived through the Great Depression (like my grandma), were amazingly creative at thinking of things to be happy about. Think about the songs of that era; they were not angry and rarely even sad songs. “Put On a Happy Face”, “Whistle While You Work”, “Blue Skies”, and “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah”, are all songs that were written when many people were out of work and hungry. Compared to present times, we might be embarrassed by how much we now complain. Why are so many songs now angry or depressing? I think partly because our society has lost the ability to be grateful.
As part of beating back cancer, and also for good general mental health and stress reduction, I suggest spending time being grateful each day. If you really feel like your life is depressing, it’s time evaluate some things. Are there are stressful and unnecessary obligations you can eliminate? Are there any annoyances you can avoid? Are there clubs, organizations, or activities that you have been doing for years but they no longer bring any joy or satisfaction? Now is a good time to re-think the things you do and leave behind the ones that bring you down. In this case, it is important to put yourself and your own needs first. The needs and desires of any club or organization you may be part of must be secondary when it comes to taking care of you.
Find a hobby or an activity that you can “get lost in”, one that causes time to seem to evaporate. This is a very personal thing, and must be chosen by each individual. Activities can include anything from gardening, art projects, reading, or playing a musical instrument to woodworking, fishing, hiking, playing a sport, or simply spending time with a friend. Get outside as much as possible.
Plan, and then make the time to actually go on one of those trips you’ve always dreamt about. One summer I made it a point to explore a new hiking trail each weekend. Even the smallest new thing can be a stimulating little ‘adventure’. Savor the colors, smells, sounds, and sights all around you. Take yourself on a one hour date once a week (NO errands or anything work related). Go wander around someplace, a museum, a town, a forest. Visit a creek or a river, and imagine your troubles floating away, letting them go.
In his book, “Love, Medicine and Miracles” Dr. Bernie Siegel asks people to think of what the patient feels empowered to do now that they have cancer. One example was a lawyer who, when told he had less than a year to live, immediately quit his law practice, and took up gardening. Ten years later, he’s cancer free, and now spends his days making beautiful gardens grow. Another story was of a CEO who quit his job and picked up playing the violin. He too, well outlived his prognosis and eventually was good enough to play with the local symphony. In each of these cases, it seems the person was living a life that, deep down was not satisfying, and the body started to shut down and give up. When a new focus in life was taken, life was worth living again and health returned.
One of the more challenging problems (especially with family members) can be dealing with some of the people who inhabit your life, particularly those who tend to “bring you down”. I say, do what you can not to let them negatively affect you. Stay away from those who would use and abuse you. Give the most care, attention, and time to people that support and nurture you. Back in 2002, I heard about something called the “cancer victim personality”. Studies showed that the typical cancer patient is often well thought of because the person is extraordinarily sacrificial. At their funeral, it is frequently said how the deceased person had no enemies and pleased everyone. Sometimes, even on their death bed, they are helping people settle arguments and work out problems. I think for many this drains them of energy, vitality and then their health crumbles.
Personally, I had to make a conscious decision not to be one of those types of personalities anymore. If someone asked me how I was, I didn’t pretend everything was fine. At the same time, I didn’t “go on” about my medical issues, just honest if I was struggling. I followed that with something I was grateful for. Much joy can be found in helping others, it lifts the spirit. Being too self-sacrificing and worrying about everyone else’s happiness at the expense of your own is when things can go wrong. Choose well when deciding who, when, and how you help.
Finally, there’s a bit more to say about negative, draining individuals. Sometimes, some people with chronic ailments appear to use their problem to manipulate people for attention, and to serve them. Dr. Bernie Siegel tells the story of a woman who was manipulating her family into doing things like driving her places, shopping for her, cutting her grass, and cleaning her house; all because they felt sorry for her. Dr. Siegel got the family together and said he wanted to try an experiment. He told them he was suspicious that she was taking advantage of the situation. His plan to expose this was to tell the woman he had found a certain cure for her disease process. He must have been pretty confident of his suspicion. He told her about the cure and said that they could administer it next week when she came back. While the woman acted surprised and happy at this information, she never went back to Dr. Siegel’s office. She told the family she had decided to switch doctors.
I’ve had the opportunity to have seen this for myself. It is a co-dependent situation that must be confronted before it really exacerbates the problem and even begins to inhibit or prevent treatments from working. People can feel 'rewarded’ for being sick, resulting in them never getting well. In a situation like this, it might be advisable to seek professional counseling to change this unhealthy family dynamic.
In summary, check your attitude. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Cancer advice, part ten… is all about the emotions, attitudes, and behaviors that help fight cancer. There are many mental attitudes that can improve your outcome while fighting cancer. Assess the assets vs. liabilities in your life. Happiness isn’t about having everything you want; rather it is about being content with what you have and making the most of it. Some people seem to be naturally optimistic, while others can be pessimistic. Pessimism is the human tendency to let your mind dwell on the negative, perpetually focusing on how awful everything is, or could be. One way to deal with a pessimistic outlook is to make a deliberate and sincere effort to concentrate on what you can be thankful for. Not just putting on a happy face either, but seeking and finding real gratitude. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale became famous for his books that promote this idea of "positive thinking".
The Kiwanis club always has “Happy Dollars” as part of its meetings. Anyone can put in some money and tell the group something they are happy about. It can be something funny, something silly, or something for which you are very grateful. I am continually amazed at how within a few minutes of listening to a parade of people say something they are happy about, my own mood lifts. For example, one time a member put in two dollars and said, “I’m happy that my in-laws came to visit…and I’m happy they have left.” Then we all cheered. We knew what he meant.
For the high school kids in Key Club (which is an extension of Kiwanis), it was just
“Happy Coins”. As teenagers, they often struggled to think of anything they could be happy about. I started saying things like, “You have shoes on your feet and clothes on your back. It’s a lovely spring day. You can eat lunch outside today.” They would look at me like I had two heads, but with some coaching they began to come up with more and more of their own ideas. Many who lived through the Great Depression (like my grandma), were amazingly creative at thinking of things to be happy about. Think about the songs of that era; they were not angry and rarely even sad songs. “Put On a Happy Face”, “Whistle While You Work”, “Blue Skies”, and “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah”, are all songs that were written when many people were out of work and hungry. Compared to present times, we might be embarrassed by how much we now complain. Why are so many songs now angry or depressing? I think partly because our society has lost the ability to be grateful.
As part of beating back cancer, and also for good general mental health and stress reduction, I suggest spending time being grateful each day. If you really feel like your life is depressing, it’s time evaluate some things. Are there are stressful and unnecessary obligations you can eliminate? Are there any annoyances you can avoid? Are there clubs, organizations, or activities that you have been doing for years but they no longer bring any joy or satisfaction? Now is a good time to re-think the things you do and leave behind the ones that bring you down. In this case, it is important to put yourself and your own needs first. The needs and desires of any club or organization you may be part of must be secondary when it comes to taking care of you.
Find a hobby or an activity that you can “get lost in”, one that causes time to seem to evaporate. This is a very personal thing, and must be chosen by each individual. Activities can include anything from gardening, art projects, reading, or playing a musical instrument to woodworking, fishing, hiking, playing a sport, or simply spending time with a friend. Get outside as much as possible.
Plan, and then make the time to actually go on one of those trips you’ve always dreamt about. One summer I made it a point to explore a new hiking trail each weekend. Even the smallest new thing can be a stimulating little ‘adventure’. Savor the colors, smells, sounds, and sights all around you. Take yourself on a one hour date once a week (NO errands or anything work related). Go wander around someplace, a museum, a town, a forest. Visit a creek or a river, and imagine your troubles floating away, letting them go.
In his book, “Love, Medicine and Miracles” Dr. Bernie Siegel asks people to think of what the patient feels empowered to do now that they have cancer. One example was a lawyer who, when told he had less than a year to live, immediately quit his law practice, and took up gardening. Ten years later, he’s cancer free, and now spends his days making beautiful gardens grow. Another story was of a CEO who quit his job and picked up playing the violin. He too, well outlived his prognosis and eventually was good enough to play with the local symphony. In each of these cases, it seems the person was living a life that, deep down was not satisfying, and the body started to shut down and give up. When a new focus in life was taken, life was worth living again and health returned.
One of the more challenging problems (especially with family members) can be dealing with some of the people who inhabit your life, particularly those who tend to “bring you down”. I say, do what you can not to let them negatively affect you. Stay away from those who would use and abuse you. Give the most care, attention, and time to people that support and nurture you. Back in 2002, I heard about something called the “cancer victim personality”. Studies showed that the typical cancer patient is often well thought of because the person is extraordinarily sacrificial. At their funeral, it is frequently said how the deceased person had no enemies and pleased everyone. Sometimes, even on their death bed, they are helping people settle arguments and work out problems. I think for many this drains them of energy, vitality and then their health crumbles.
Personally, I had to make a conscious decision not to be one of those types of personalities anymore. If someone asked me how I was, I didn’t pretend everything was fine. At the same time, I didn’t “go on” about my medical issues, just honest if I was struggling. I followed that with something I was grateful for. Much joy can be found in helping others, it lifts the spirit. Being too self-sacrificing and worrying about everyone else’s happiness at the expense of your own is when things can go wrong. Choose well when deciding who, when, and how you help.
Finally, there’s a bit more to say about negative, draining individuals. Sometimes, some people with chronic ailments appear to use their problem to manipulate people for attention, and to serve them. Dr. Bernie Siegel tells the story of a woman who was manipulating her family into doing things like driving her places, shopping for her, cutting her grass, and cleaning her house; all because they felt sorry for her. Dr. Siegel got the family together and said he wanted to try an experiment. He told them he was suspicious that she was taking advantage of the situation. His plan to expose this was to tell the woman he had found a certain cure for her disease process. He must have been pretty confident of his suspicion. He told her about the cure and said that they could administer it next week when she came back. While the woman acted surprised and happy at this information, she never went back to Dr. Siegel’s office. She told the family she had decided to switch doctors.
I’ve had the opportunity to have seen this for myself. It is a co-dependent situation that must be confronted before it really exacerbates the problem and even begins to inhibit or prevent treatments from working. People can feel 'rewarded’ for being sick, resulting in them never getting well. In a situation like this, it might be advisable to seek professional counseling to change this unhealthy family dynamic.
In summary, check your attitude. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
